In which I am screwed
No one gets a hurrah today. I’m not happy with the world, and sometimes you have to be firm or it’ll never learn. Not happy with that last entry, either. Had it on standby for a month, couldn’t think of anything better to say, and so posted it all guilt-fuelled.
Point is, I caused a three car pile up. Well, I say pile up but really it was just a three car fender-bender (more costly and less fun than gender-bender, but just as good to say). So, yay! Debt forever!
“But James”, I hear you slur in your ill-begot way, “Wont insurance cover it?”.
No. Okay, just no. Stop rubbing it in. Bastards. I drive shitboxes for five yeas and never so much as look askance at another car. I buy a new car (yes, yes, new to me, curse you all) and twenty eight days later WHABANG! How’s ya father!?! You want car? You want car! I GIVE YOU CAR!!! I crash it.
So, so, so much money. Worst thing is I have to replace two bumpers and a bonnet on other peoples cars which will cost far more than is seemingly reasonable, but they drive away happy and filled with the spirits of dead Buddha while I gaze teary eyed at the carnage of my Subaru’s bumper and headlights, and the accusing toe-ball shaped hole in my radiator bleeding depressing green blood of you’re-not-driving-that-homeness. Did I mention the lots of money? I mean it, thousands and thousands.
On the bright side, the laptop I ordered over the internet six days prior arrived later that day, reminding me I just spent one and half thousand that I could no longer afford. But that’s good anyway, I’ve put off buying one so many times the last thing I need is a compelling and genuine reason not to, so with exclamations of “It’s too late now, biatches!” I set about the necessary brand new toy rituals, which mainly consist of me drifting about in a daze of glee, shoving the source of happiness in people’s faces and yelling “Look, look, NO TOUCHING!”.
Because if they touch it, it becomes that little bit less special.
Thing is, I don’t really need a laptop. I mean, I can use it for study at work because, well it’s not like I actually work at work, that’s just not how we roll. But I keep spending money on things I don’t need. I suppose causing five thousand plus worth of automotive damage is rather an elegant solution to the problem, but I’m sure there has to be a better way. I bought a six hundred dollar vacuum cleaner. No one knows why. Well, it was part of my war chest for when I moved out, but that’s never going to happen now. All my savings, gone. And I sit alone, sad and inert. But with a very, very clean floor…
