Like a ripened watermelon in spandex
My word.
My wordy-word.
My words.
Or, if I can hew the bone of truth and expose the glistening marrow of my empty rhetoric for a second: my lack of words. It’s been a long time. What’s been happening? Yeah, me too. You look good.
No, you do.
Put on a little weight, sure, but it’s sitting well. Like a voluptuous renaissance woman, or well stuffed festive poultry. Just like.
Really.
You’re rubenesque.
Did you hear about Kevin? Yeah, I know. The slut.
I can keep this up all day. I won’t, but the possibility is there. I just thought you should know. It’s good to be abreast of these things. And other things, too. They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing but they would say that, wouldn’t they? Those collective anonymous bastards.
Nevertheless you have to agree, nameless conspirators aside, that there’s a nugget of truth to that particular banality. You have to. Who hasn’t bore witness to (or indeed engaged wholeheartedly in) the ungainly wielding of tidbits o’ fact? Self-assured instant experts ineptly diagnosing the cause of economic depression or the source of your crippling fear of over-weight people in vibrant colours, because, well “I explored the intricacies of currency inflation and girth related hue-terror in my thesis”.
“Well ‘thesis’ is such a broad term, but it was a vigorously probing inquiry into the economics of cheer-squad uniforms and their repercussions on the stock market”.
“…A short pamphlet on John Symond’s Hawaii get-away?”
“I mean sure, I just sat outside a Kmart change room for a while, but I know how to fix the economy. And you. Let me into your house.”
Okay, I got a little carried away there but… God people are pratts. Damn you, people. Damn you all to hell.
On the other hand, deliberately misunderstanding people is just a swell way to pass the time. I can’t wait to be aged. I have no biological imperative to reproduce, the only thing driving my urge to spawn is to later pray upon my off-spring from behind the armours of senility and incontinence, or more importantly a charade thereof. Given that I’m twenty three and already partially deaf and have to squint to read small (or vaguely approaching small) print even with my glasses on there probably wont be too great a need to playact, but regardless of my actual audial acuity you better believe I’ll answer every question, statement or randomly hurled abuse with a bellowed “Whut? Whut! Speak up! Bloody whippersnappers” trailing off with antiquated obscenities, half-remembered curses and vague yet strangely upsetting threats. This is the reason I get up in the morning.
Did… did you even say anything just now?
Comment by Jess — July 21, 2008 @ 7:27 pm
People are prats! I approve of your meta-update. It opened a little bit wishy-washy for sure, but came true in the end. I’m a true believer. I’ll sit through the credits.
Comment by Tim — July 21, 2008 @ 11:42 pm
Jess: No, No I didn’t. Thankyou for noticing. Usually you have to be in politics to talk for that long without volunteering absolutley anything of value or substance, but here at the offices of The Daily Hurrah we provide it for free. But, you know, if you want to give me money…
Tim: Ba! The opening was my favourite. The middle left a lot to be desired, but I’m okay with that.
Comment by James — July 22, 2008 @ 3:27 am
K. so i read all and im left with Tim desiring your middle and being comfortable with that. woot tim. I would like to be a part of this random letting of thoughts. i have thoughts to let so , if you know anyone? mm.
Comment by Kathleen — September 5, 2008 @ 1:00 pm
I haven’t a clue how to respond to your entry, so I think I’ll just… trail off… politely…
However, I do have something to say, and it is this:
I’ve watched “Enemies of Reason” at your recommendation, and am now watching Dawkins’ “Root of All Evil?” - do watch, if you haven’t already. It’s more ambitious in scope than “Enemies”, and he travels to the Middle East and Middle America to interview people, and the whole thing is a pine-tingling wake-up call to the rest of us, and ahhh this world is fucking insane.
I think I just out-gushed you.
Comment by merc — September 12, 2008 @ 9:38 pm
I tried this code in my Joomla component. But I got an error message saying “Could not instantiate mail function”.
Comment by air force 1 — February 4, 2010 @ 2:38 am